Grumpy Thursday

Maybe it’s just the gloomy day but I am feeling negative today.

Makes it sooooo hard to go inside

I ran again yesterday, making it 9 miles Saturday (7:27/mile), 9 on Mon. (7:48/mile) and yesterday(7:45/mile).

But I almost didn’t make the 9. Once again, the pain has started up again. 2 miles in, my upper, tippy top thigh (that little indent area where your leg joins your torso) started to just feel off. It didn’t hurt, it just felt like something was out of place and needed to be popped back into the right spot. Kind of like when you get up from sitting and your knee locks then weirdly pops back in to place.

So I decided to play it smart and started walking home, figuring I’d just finish off on the bike at the gym. Well, home just seemed too far away to walk to, so I started to run. When I started running, whatever was making my thigh/hip/groin feel weird must have lodged back into its proper place because it felt fine. So of course I passed the turn towards home and kept running the rest of my 9 miles.

Which brings me to today, feeling sore and grumpy. I’m so frustrated! I’m thinking all these negative thoughts like, is this my running future? Am I now destined to have to take a week of biking to recover for every 2 runs, while I watch my pace get slower and slower as the months go by?

Am I just being super grumpy because I’m overtired from sleeping on the couch to TLC shows  while waiting for my husband to get home from work at 2am everyday this week (and being woken up by licking possums)?

So cute!

At this point, I’m torn. The OCD half of me is freaking out and chewing the inside of my mouth (nasty habit) thinking about my fast pace slipping away. But then there’s the other half of me that just wants to enjoy running for running’s sake. One nice thing about this week was I didn’t dread my runs like I normally do, because I knew I had to take it easy.

Usually, I am so stressed and anxious before my runs because I put so much pressure on myself about speed. I work myself up so much before each run because truthfully, I do treat every single one of my runs as if it’s a race. Because to me it is a race. Racing to make sure I keep my pace at race speed or better, otherwise I’m just not good enough as a person. Horrible and ludicrous thinking I know, but that’s runner’s OCD for you.

Yesterday, I talked to the girl at the gym (she's the base nutritionist) about the running groups around here. There's a group who runs trails for 3 hrs. on Saturdays, and another group who does speed training for 2 hrs. on weekdays. I’m not sure what I think. Listening to her, half of me thinks I’ll join them (I'm a such a sucker, she raved about my speed). But the other half of me was just looking at her like she was crazy, thinking ‘3 hours? Really?’ That’s a lot of time and miles to invest for a girl like me who has no interest in running more than a Half. I may end up going to the speed workouts a time or two, but just because I want to make some friends (curse you inability to say no!)

So, that’s the long of it. I’m probably just being cranky and over-dramatic about everything. Maybe the crappy weather is just making everything seem so much worse than it really is. After all, the soreness isn’t that bad. In fact, sometimes when I get up I don't feel anything at all (maybe something is out of place. Can you dislocate your groin?)

I still plan on running on Monday (I'd already planned on riding the bike today anyway). Maybe I just did too much too soon. And maybe I should try ice, as I haven't at all since this started.

Hot date tonight!

Anyone else ever get down in the dumps about their running?