I'm back from my vacation to Hawaii and just now starting to get back to the normal swing of things. After a lovely week in my favorite state...
And an epic trip home that rivalled Frodo's quest to Mordor...filled with deplaning, changing gates, missed connections, switched airports and rental cars with flat tires at midnight....
|Teddy bear as body pillow...the new airplane pillow|
I caught a major bug. My first run back from vacation is always filled with nerves as I wonder how much stamina and speed I've lost. Labor Day morning, the run went as expected: it wasn't my best, it wasn't my worst. And then the hammer fell. I woke up Tuesday last week completely wiped out. I was just exhausted in that flu-like way, my throat was sore and I just knew what was coming. As the day wore on, I got more and more beat. There was no getting around it. I was sick.
Wednesday, I was completely useless. I laid around on the couch and I think I scared the Turtle when I was nodding off during E! News at 7pm. I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd already napped for 2 hours, besides sleeping in since I'd called off from work. He said he'd never seen me so tired.
And all I could think of was, I have a race in 3 weeks! I need to run!
By the end of the week I started feeling better, and I got back to the gym on Friday and had an awesome elliptical run. I've run 2 more times since then, but my average pace for my run Monday morning was 7:31, a good 16 seconds from where I'd like it to be. At first, I was incredibly disappointed with the number, especially since I really felt like I was pushing it through the pretty miserable run. But, as my mom and I talked it out, we decided that despite the 50 degree temps it was humid out, and that my cold, which is now steadily dripping out of my nose, is still wearing me out.
And, I'm really really trying to think healthfully and put it in perspective. I ran a 7:31 average pace for 9 miles. So what if it was 16 seconds off my PR for a training run? Who cares? Only me. It really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. It doesn't make me a better or worse person. It's just a running pace. There are way more important things in this world.
Now, I just have to keep repeating this mantra til I truly believe it and give myself a break! I really do put too much pressure on myself. And bit by teeny, tiny bit, I'm trying to relax my mind's strangle-hold on ridiculous, unrealistic, only-achievable-if-I-don't-have-a-life goals. PR's are dangerous things. Once I hit them, I thin I have to hit them each time once I know their achievable. Its a slippery slope I'm trying to get off of!
Phew! Ok, enough confessing. I told you I was OCD! I've got a ton of paintings in the works. I am soooo busy my head is spinning! I'll post the latest one later this week!
Does anyone else beat themselves up over bad runs?